


More Clothes than Mr. Bean

by Draycevixen



Category: Mr. Bean, The Professionals
Genre: Community: flashslash, Crack, Crossover, Flash Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-21
Updated: 2011-04-21
Packaged: 2017-10-18 10:57:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/188228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draycevixen/pseuds/Draycevixen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for Firlefanzine, who gave me the prompt "Mr. Bean."</p>
            </blockquote>





	More Clothes than Mr. Bean

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Firlefanzine](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Firlefanzine).



.

“Ray!” Bodie’s elbow was applied with some force to Doyle’s ribs. “Take a look at this.”

“This one better have hand grenades in her bloody bikini, I was dozing off there” Doyle muttered, pushing himself up on to his elbows.

“Down there, near the pier.”

Doyle followed the line of Bodie’s arm to see a slightly odd looking man glancing around nervously. Ray blinked, before pushing up his sunglasses to get a better look. “Did I doze off or does he have his swimming trunks on over his trousers?”

As they watched, the man slipped his right shoe and sock off and worked the right trouser leg off and down.

“What’s he trying to do?”

“Don’t be daft Bodie, he’s trying to change his clothes.”

The man worked the left leg of his trousers off, leaving them hanging momentarily from the front of his swimming trunks.

“I know _that_. I mean why that way, why not just wrap a towel around himself?”

“He doesn’t have one with him.”

The man had carefully started working one of the trouser legs up and through the swimming trunks.

“That doesn’t look very smart, one false move and he’ll be walking funny for days.”

Both men flinched and then sighed in empathetic relief as the manoeuvre was completed and the man was finally free of his trousers.

Doyle restrained the urge to applaud and lay back down again.

“Still don’t know why he bothered with all that palaver.”

Doyle went back up on one elbow to stare down at his partner.

“Course you wouldn’t understand, just look at you.” Doyle’s sweeping hand gesture encompassed Bodie’s trousers and t-shirt in comparison with his own brief swimming trunks. “You’re more covered up than anyone on this beach.”

“I’ll burn.”

“Don’t be bloody daft, that’s what the sun tan lotion’s for. Look, this is your last weekend before Macklin gets his hands on you again and while I know it goes against your grain to show any more flesh than a nun would, you can’t be comfortable in all that.” Doyle turned away, reached into a holdall and turned back brandishing the sun tan lotion bottle. “At least take your t-shirt off and let me rub some lotion on your back.”

Bodie just stared at him for a moment before dragging the t-shirt up over his head, just his navel visible for a few minutes as stiff shoulders made slow work of it. Bodie turned over and lay down on his stomach, his head pillowed on his arms. Doyle poured a little lotion in to his hands and set to work on rubbing it in to Bodie’s back, carefully avoiding the still angry looking scar tissue at his shoulder. Doyle swung one leg across Bodie’s lower back to straddle him. Bodie’s head jerked around.

“What are you doing?”

“The angle was bad, didn’t want to crick my neck.”

As Doyle continued to apply the lotion his weight settled on to Bodie’s lower back. Doyle wiped his hands off against his own thighs before rising to his knees.

“Right, turn over and I’ll get your chest.”

“I’m fine like this” Bodie muttered against his arm, his shoulders tensing. “Just leave the bottle. When I turn over I’ll get it myself.”

“Don’t be daft, turn over.”

“No!”

Doyle grabbed Bodie’s unmarked shoulder and pulled up. Bodie had no choice but to turn over but he surprised Doyle, dumping him on to his arse by scrabbling to his feet while grabbing at his towel and letting it dangle loosely in front of him.

“I’m going back to the hotel for a nap. I’ll see you later.”

Bodie strode away up the beach. Doyle sat there for a few stunned minutes before gathering the rest of their things and following him.

***

Bodie wouldn’t meet his eyes.

“You should have stayed out there, I’m just going to take a nap and—”

“Bodie I saw why—” Doyle moved in closer “I _know_ why you’re embarrassed and you shouldn’t be. You haven’t been touched in a while, haven’t had a chance to get your end away since the shooting. It’s natural that your body would react like that—”

“Fuck that Doyle, don’t start with the Ross act.” Bodie closed the distance between them, wrapping one hand behind Doyle’s neck, dragging him into a brutal kiss before releasing him and stepping back. “How about that, is that _natural_?”

Doyle rubbed one finger across his lips.

“Dunno. Don’t give a fuck about natural, but I know it’s about bloody time.”

Doyle kissed him back.

.


End file.
